Our language has widely sensed the two sides of being alone. It has creating the word "loneliness" to express the pain of being alone. And created the word "solitude" to express the glory of being alone. ~~~ Paul Tillich  

The above quote is disturbing in how close it hits  home with me. So many times i've groused to myself "WHY CAN'T THEY JUST LEAVE ME ALONE?"    At times it didn't matter if it was family, friend, or foe. If I was involved in writing I didn't want to be disturbed.

Writing....damn but how I miss it. I decided...I think it was the beginning of November...must of been the dread of being another year older that inspired me...anyway...i decided it was time I stop just playing with my beloved fanfiction and try my hand at an original work. You know...something that had an actual chance at being published someday. Ok..ok...OK I know it's likely little more than a foolish pipe dream and people out there are muttering to themselves...*what is this woman smoking?* BUT it has been a dream of mine since 6th grade...and that was a LOOONNNGGG time ago people. I guess everybody has a dream and this is mine. ANYWHOOO the point is I dug right into the project and was actually whipping right along for me. I have 67 pages done which adds up to a Prologue and 4 chapters...and then it happened....WRITERS BLOCK!!!   

It seems my twins life went to hell about a month and a half- two monthes ago and while looking at mine everything seems to be normal...I can't cope without her. Is that pathetic or what? I can't write to save my ass! She lives 4 and a half hours away but yet I can't seem to sit down at the computer and write unless she logs on and virtually "holds my hand!"

With writing out of the equation I stopped to look around and wondered....*where did everyone go?*

Morgy got a life ...a busy one at that with school and work to balance.

Qayin....I haven't heard from her since Christmas time...it seems she doesn't come online to play anymore ...probably more of that dreaded real life again.

Shari...she has two foster children at the moment and is busy as can be...when she isn't busy with them she spends alot of time with another single friend of hers.

Mel...I catch her online every once in a while but the time difference between the US and Germany makes that alot hit and miss. 

Brandy....my twin....between personal illness....alot of which has been brought on by stress...marital questions, 3 kids no matter how wonderful, remodeling, a death in the family, and all the trials and tribulations of friends and families piling up...it is a wonder she hasn't cracked under the strain. The last month we have been pulled apart...it's painful...I know she is torn between her promises to me that she won't run away again and her need to protect me from her moods..her need to sink into the bliss of "SOLITUDE". 

Solitude and loneliness....forever connected. Such a fine line.

I miss you all.  

 

 

   

 

 

 

 

Ohhh BELOVED Terror Twin of mine.... *sigh* I don't even know where to begin. No matter HOW unintentional it still KILLS me everytime I think I might have caused you the slightest bit of pain. As you well know, I am back heh heh...and hopefully, I made good on my promise. I am GLAD you did understand it was a protective mechanism of sorts that I did not have my butt glued to the chair or the phone to my ear because God knows I have a hard time not doing either with my twin! I don't know where everyone else is but maybe the threats of cattle prods or other torturous devices might work? Maybe? Perhaps? No? Ok then. I wuv ya TT and I promise I ain't going no where. I thank ya kindly for saying I haven't cracked though I am not entirely sure of that myself!! ROFL Sometimes crazy is a good thing though....at least that is what I keep telling myself. Ok I need to go to bed so I am WELL rested for playtime tomorrow. Thanks for always being there....and for all the priceless memories....and the LAUGHS!!! So glad you are not a "rat fink" and watch out for the unexpected "WAFFLE!" and last but not least...never EVER step in "CRAP!"